Love and lust: what’s the difference?
The ancient Greeks
had several words for different kinds of love. But we divide love into three
basic brain systems: lust (the sex drive), romantic love and feelings of deep
attachment. These three brain systems are often deeply entwined. But not
always. You can have sex with someone you don’t love; you can be madly in love
with someone you will never bed; and you can feel a deep sense of attachment to
someone for whom you feel neither lust nor romantic passion.
In short, each of
these basic mating drives is associated with a different primary brain and
chemical system.
Lust, what an
Italian proverb calls “the oldest lion of them all,” has long been associated
with the testosterone system in both men and women. Instead, romantic love is
orchestrated, foremost, by the dopamine system in the brain. And feelings of
deep attachment are now linked with the neurochemical systems, oxytocin and
vasopressin.
And interestingly,
most peoples around the world easily distinguish between romantic love and
lust. On the Polynesian island of Mangaia, “real love” is called inangaro
kino, a state of romantic passion distinct from sexual desire. The Taita of
Kenya call lust ashiki, while they refer to romantic love as pendo.
And in Caruaru, a town in northeast Brazil, locals say, “Amor is when you feel a desire to always be
with her; you breathe her, eat her, drink her; you are always thinking of her;
you don’t manage to live without her.” Paixao,
on the other hand, is “horniness.”
No comments:
Post a Comment